Don't you send me to vm
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
