Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
