So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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