I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
