so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
