if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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