Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
