It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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