my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize