Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
