I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
