yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
