i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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