i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize