I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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