their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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