Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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