If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
