I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
