just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
