Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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