Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
