i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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