THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you win again, gameday.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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