The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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