How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
