that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
