I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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