so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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