:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
