I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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