I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
