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• (925): View more from California

  I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend

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• (626): View more from California

  My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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• (408): View more from California

  I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Her only article of clothing is an American Flag

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!

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