I accidentally burped into my bong.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
