I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
