All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
