Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
wow bdsm is so cute
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