Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
