That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
