We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
