Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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