plz talk dirty to me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
