but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
