If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
