not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
