Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
