PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
