I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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