i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
