i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize