Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
