Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
