therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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