Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were trust falling into bushes
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize