were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
