I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
