sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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