Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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