Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
