If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
