It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
