Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize