two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
