worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Randomize